The most chaotic, unreadable newsletter of all time (unreadable not in the sense that it is bad writing but rather in that I never provide a newsletter to read) returns. I can only blame my parents, whose successful fucking gave me the brain chemistry that I have. Honestly, I am having the worst time, and am avoiding everything, especially writing. I want my writing to be fun and exciting, not depressing or concerning. The idea of writing anything, from emails to assignments to this newsletter to even text messages fills me with more dread than Tom Sandovalâs white fingernails. I have also had a hard time getting myself to commit to anything. Nearly six months into unemployment â with a few freelance assignments sprinkled in here and there â I am a zombified version of myself: completely useless, unable to pay attention to anything I watch on TV or in a theater. The other day I went to Trader Joeâs. I was walking slowly through the aisles with a podcast playing in my fake AirPods. After what felt like a century but may have only been three minutes, I realized I hadnât added anything to my cart and had no idea what I was listening to. Water was slowly dripping out my eyes even though I wasnât crying.
After over a decade of committing to a writing career, itâs becoming more and more clear that I have to seriously consider alternatives. This realization has made me completely numb. Despite this, I do have some (dumb) thoughts on some (dumb) things.
The submersible but letâs make it about me
If youâre reading this, I safely assume you do not need context for Titan, the arrogantly-named DIY submersible that imploded on its journey to observe the Titanic wreckage that had the globe in a chokehold this week, but there it is (the context).
The collective reaction to the narrative was chaotic, an apt representation of COVID/climate change/recession brain. People posted memes and jokes that generally revealed apathy toward billionaires who consider a deep ocean gravesite a tourist destination. The more information that came out about Titan â which squeezed five people into a tight tube with a small window like a New York City apartment â had a history of failure and mentioned death several times in its contract for those who paid $250,000 to ride. And then there was the horny Blink 182 stepson, living proof that some people exist solely to inspire masterful Daily Mail headlines. The more we learned about Titan, the more the apathy grew. But then, of course, there was the backlash to the backlash: some people considered the insensitivity insensitive. To that, I say who cares? Being a billionaire who spends pocket change on visiting a rusty 111-year-old boat that killed over 1500 people because of willful ignorance that rests in one of the most dangerous places in the universe is more insensitive.
There have been many human failures throughout history. So much so that it is genuinely surprising we are still here. Itâs actually making me kind of mad. Why am I here? Why are you here, reading this bullshit? Earth should have imploded like the Titan in like, 2010. There have been advancements and some exceptional human beings, but generally, we are fucking flops. Titanic was one of the greatest human flops of all time and Titan, over a century later, adds yet another layer to Titanicâs many layers of human failure. The Titanic sank because her* captain valued getting to New York in record time over getting there safely and so many people died because the ship, like the submersible, was not prepared for the worst. This is irony you canât make up, assuming that the people with $250k to spare knew all this but willfully risked their lives to see its rusty ass in the deep dark sea anyway.
*donât u just love that boats are women?
In an interview with ABC News, James Cameron said it better than my dumb ass ever could. âIâm struck by the similarity of the Titanic disaster itself, where the captain was repeatedly warned about ice ahead of his ship and yet he steamed at full speed into an ice field."
Human failure is fascinating, except no one seems particularly interested in my failure. This is probably because Iâm not rich. Lol jk I donât want anyone to pay attention to me unless they are interested in PAYING me. Earth better implode immediately after Greta Gerwig wins an Oscar for directing Barbie.
Other things Iâm thinking about:
I just feel that womenâ The women of Mission: Impossible â Dead Reckoning Part 1 are saving cinema as well as red-carpet fashion. Please show some respect to Rebecca Ferguson, Vanessa Kirby, Hayley Atwell, and Pom Klementieff for serving cunt promoting a Tom Cruise movie. Ferguson and Kirby in particular are delivering chic, sexy, iconic looks that donât involve a fucking sheer skirt, a Minecraft pattern, or another fucking fox eye.
Vanderpump Rules. Tom and Raquel are still lying to us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am watching.
âmy start-up Haus Labs.â Last week, Lady Gaga called Huas Labs, her makeup brand, âmy start-up Haus Labsâ in a very long Instagram caption. She also shared in parentheses that filming Joker 2 was âa very introspective time.â I do highly recommend the Haus Labs lip oil. Keeps my cracky ass lips wet all day.
Anyways, so thatâs whatâs going on with me lol!
Until next time (anywhere between 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, 3 years?),
Carrie